Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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