sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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