he thought i was a dude.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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