I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
