I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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