Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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