3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
