You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
