I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
