i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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