is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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