Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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