I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize