My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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