You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
