It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
