So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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