He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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