ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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