people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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