I cockslap morals
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
