is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My balls are so social today.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
