I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't think brook has ever known best
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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