she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
