i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
