3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
