i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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