So many bounce houses so little time
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
