I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am spending my child support on dildos
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
