he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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