marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
