i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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