absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
