I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
