I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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