I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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