She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
