Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
