I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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