dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
someone get that fucking seahorse.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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