let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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