Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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