So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
