i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also, beer. Big fan.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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