can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
