she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
