Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
