My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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