Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
