Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
